Having just this evening sent my testimony to one of my newest friends on the internet, it's prompted me to start questioning my attitude towards testimonials.
It makes me question why we write them, whether we are proud of them and more importantly are our testimonials intended to glorify God or just to showcase what we've been through.
I've just read that it's not how you start, but how you finish. Whilst I do agree with that, I think it's important to remember what we've been through but not to let it define us.
All too often you hear people excusing behaviour as 'this is how I was brought up', or 'I can't help it, my mum's like that and I've gotten it from her.'
When I started looking at becoming a Christian just over a year ago I would have some long discussions with my younger sister about behavioural traits and habits. I now believe that as long as you are able to recognise and distinguish those behavioural traits, then you have the power to change them and decide whether you are going to let them define you or not.
I believe that it is important to share your testimony to encourage other Christians, to help non Christians come to Christ and to remind yourself of the amazing grace you've been given. I'm less reluctant to bandy my testimony around at the moment as I've not updated it since February 2009. All it has in it is the terrible times I've been through and although it's amazing to read it and see that God was with me throughout...it doesn't fully reflect me. It says nothing of the powerful blessings I've received in the last year.
There were weeks when I was down to nothing, waiting for my benefits to arrive in 4 days time and I've received an envelope of cash in the post. Or the day that I woke up to the postman hammering on the door trying to deliver a guitar to me...and then the following day with the same postman delivering an amp too. I still have no knowledge of who bought and sent me those, but I really will get on with learning how to play it soon!
To me now, my testimony is not worthy to be a testimony, it only describes my journey to Christ, not what He has done for me since, let alone what He will do for me in the future. Sure it's my story, but it's incomplete, I'm not giving full justice to the tale so to speak. So this week that will be my mission. To update my testimony; to ensure it gives full credit to God. I will be going through it again and make sure that it's not written to shock people, that it's not written to make people feel sorry for me or to like me more because of what I've been through, but to be completely objective to the complete and utter mess that I was and the whole and satisfied person that I now am.