urm, ok, so I log in....after numerous naggings from various people...and blogger says my last post was a month ago exactly. The 9th of March.....oops!
Good job I put 'Do Blog' on my to-do list today. I love my to-do list, and I live my life through it. Since the wedding, I've not really used a to-do list, revelling in the freedom that I am not bound by tasks, but I've somewhat lost my way a bit and instead just appear to floop through life with no real purpose and achieving no goals.
The most satisfying thing about a to-do list is the ticks. Get up? TICK! Brush teeth? TICK! Anally obsess over how the showerscreen is folded back by your husband compared to you? TICK!
You get the idea.
Anyhoo, I decided that today was the day to give my fingers a bit of exercise and do me bloggin innit. I spoke to a fellow blogger last night (he of the naggability) and I told him that I'd been putting it off because so much has happened and I have so much to tell, and he reminded me of bullet points. So in the future, I may well take advantage of said bullet points to try to keep up being a bit more regular so to speak.
So, having been absent for a while, I decided to have a read of Sir Bennington's blog to get me in the mood and give me a bit of a pep talk into just opening my head and letting it all out. I usually do keep abreast of the blogs that I read but tend to read them twice - thrice a week rather than everyday, just incase they've not posted and I get disappointed.
Today (well yesterday) Benny's post said: So I just wanted to share that so perhaps next time you're having a particularly bad day, a day which seems worse than it should be, it's a good reminder these things are happening in the spiritual world, to lean on God for the support He will lovingly provide and to battle through for Him.
Today, I'm having a nervous day as I'm waiting to hear back from the arrangement company as to whether I have been granted a form of bankruptcy that will clear the debts that I was left with following my previous 'relationship' (for want of a better word).
I've always had strong views on bankcruptcy and failing to pay debts that are rightfully yours. I've felt that it's a responsibility that you shouldn't shirk and that there's no reason why you should get out of paying those debts.
However, when we were engaged, Dus' dad did have a chat with us and said that God knew at the start what would happen, and He still forgave us. God knew throughout that relationship that I'd be left with almost £14k of gambling debts, yet He still called me back to Him. And God's chosen to not inundate me with positive replies from all the job applications. (I thought that was a nice way of saying, no one wanted me lol).
So we had a pray about it and have found peace about 'shirking my responsibilities'.
The process has all been very easy...maybe a bit too easy. I've had a lovely lady advisor who's not been patronising, she's been patient and understanding. Even when we got my credit file and found another two debts that I didn't even know I had! The application was submitted on Tuesday and it generally takes 48 hours to come back. Jennie (the lovely lady...a bit like Jenny bond I imagine her to be, but younger) called me today and left a voicemail as I was in the shower (she didn't know I was in the shower, I just didn't answer) so I've tried to call her back and now I'm waiting for the second call back call back call back.
Everytime I pick up the phone to call her back my heart starts pumping in a similar manner to a marching band drummer, and I get twitchy fingers and an itchy nose (although that might be for a different reason cos it sounds a bit odd). Now I'm just praying it's been accepted, and my new life can really start, totally unburdened by my previous life. It will truly feel like a miracle, that God's allowed me to start again with yet another clean slate.
I think I might have to do another blog in a minute so that this one isn't too long to read comfortably with a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit, as I still have so much more to tell you about the last few weeks.
Catch you in a bit readers xx